she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
