This show inspires me to have sex in space
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I could fuck to npr.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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