It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
