the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
