dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
