im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
