She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
