i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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