Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
