i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Randomize
