My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
