Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
