i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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