Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Randomize
