just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
