I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
