C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
