She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
