i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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