Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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