Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
