NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
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