I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
