dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Randomize
