and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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