this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
