If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
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