my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
