They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Randomize
