were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
