I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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