Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
