A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I just want to make out with him forever
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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