This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
