He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
