I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
