Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I've blown a few things in my day
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
