Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize
