there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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