You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
