You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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