He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Success! We fucked roommates!
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