You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
