8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
