it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
