We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
