I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
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