I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
