I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
