My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
